I heard we made out
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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