I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just high enough for therapy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize