I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
