it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
