he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize