sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Even my vagina gasped.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
