ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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