you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
