If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
