You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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