He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
