What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
