I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
