do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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