How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
