Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
