all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
