she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
