just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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