I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
