did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
