I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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