she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Your penis caused this!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
