So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
