garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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