my being single is dangerous.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize