Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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