my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
