You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
