shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
