Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
