I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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