Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
