A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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