He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You've changed since you got that strap on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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