he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
