So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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