Nicole vs. Life
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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