Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize