ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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