Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
