Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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