today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
