so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
