dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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