Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
