No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
