no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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