3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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