Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
we should paint friendship bongs
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