I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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