Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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