how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
