Yo dont text me then not text me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
