ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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