hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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