Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
