I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
