How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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