i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize