I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
