You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
