I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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