i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
