So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
