grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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