It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize