Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
