Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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